<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Over the Rainbow by yellowbrie3</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408201">Over the Rainbow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowbrie3/pseuds/yellowbrie3'>yellowbrie3</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, Family Drama, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:34:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,834</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowbrie3/pseuds/yellowbrie3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana has to step up and take care of her 4 year old sister, see how she faces the challenges of every day life. Pezberry sisters Faberry friendship eventual brittana relationship. This story will get a little angsty so trigger warnings will be in certain chapters.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>brittana</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Rachel, come here please!" I shouted and waited patiently in my living room for the sound of tiny feet to patter across the hardwood floor. The little brunette came running as fast she could, headed straight to me, on the couch. </p><p>"Woah slow down sweetie, you don't want to fall and get hurt, do you?" Rachel came to an immediate stop and cast her eyes at the floor as she tiptoed as slow as possible over to me. </p><p>"You know how mommy and daddy went away two weeks ago?" the little brunette nodded solemnly while hugging her stuffed bunny "Ruby" close. "Well Tana has to go back to school soon and I would like to take you with me." I knew at 4 years old she wasn't going to understand completely what I was trying to explain but it was worth a try. I needed to go back to my senior year at Columbia but I refused to leave my little sister behind. </p><p>If Rachel didn't want to leave Lima, then I would stay here with her and figure out online classes or even a transfer if need be. I was lost in my thoughts about school, responsibility of a young child, and how the fuck I was going to afford everything now. My parents had always provided for me, they paid for my education and my apartment in the city. </p><p>The family lawyer, Martino, says all the money is "tied up” at the moment, and he's unable to tell me why. In my opinion he's a shady douche and has never been friendly or even remorseful about our loss. He just left us in limbo and I haven't heard a word since even though I've tried to get in touch numerous times. Now, with my parents gone suddenly and barely any money to fall back on, I'm in a bit of a situation. I needed to find a job and make some quick money. I broke the lease on my apartment when I realized I wouldn't be able to afford it anymore. </p><p>I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt a gentle tug on my hoodie, brown eyes connected with mine and an adorable voice sprang free "I go with you Tana, I no wanna go with no one else." Tears sprang to my eyes, man she was adorable. I scooped Rachel into my lap while she laid her head on my shoulder, "I 'ove you Tana, I go too" she said with a big yawn and a bit of a lisp as her eyes fluttered closed. </p><p>I rested the little munchkin on the couch with Ruby, she unconsciously squeezed her stuffy tighter while putting her thumb in her mouth. I found that a bit strange for a four year old but I guess we'll add that to the list of things we need to figure out. </p><p>I packed up the rest of our belongings and in the morning we will head back to New York.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 2 </p><p> </p><p>I stood in the living room of my childhood home, in a town I couldn't wait to get out of, but felt so nervous to leave again. I am not completely on my own and responsible for a little girl who alongside me has a broken heart. Rachel barely speaks anymore, she mostly points to things and when she gets frustrated she starts to cry. </p><p>I'm kind of at a loss on what I should do, I want to listen to her talk even if she has a bit of lisp or when she sings along to a TV show, it's adorable to me. I was just graduating Mckinley when Rachel was born so I didn't get to see her often but we did Skype when my mother allowed it. Rachel was once a very talkative little girl but something changed as time went on. I was so focused on school and assumed my parents were dealing with it. </p><p>Now I'm the one assuming she's reverting back because of the sudden death of our parents. I'm definitely going to have to look into some help. The problem is going to be the cost of everything with no insurance. Martino won't give up any information and I can't afford a lawyer to help me out. So basically I'm fucked. </p><p>Rachel is sitting on the stairs watching me pace back and forth while trying to figure out my life. I stop when she gets up and pats my leg silently asking to be picked up. I rest her on my hip as she lays her head on my shoulder and for the first time I realized how small she really is. Definitely a lot smaller than a four year old should be. </p><p>“Ready to go baby?” I whisper against her temple. As always I receive a nod but at least I notice a tiny smile. </p><p>I loaded the last of our stuff into the small RV I was able to rent for the ten hour ride back to New York. Money was tight but we needed this. I had originally figured Rach would be a little chatterbox but nowadays I’ll be lucky to get more than a sentence an hour. </p><p>I throw on my Amy Winehose playlist and pop in the bubble guppies for Rachel as we get on the road home. </p><p>A few hours into the ride it started to pour. It got so bad that I decided to pull over for the night at a campground to be safe and get some sleep. After what happened with my parents I was petrified to drive in bad weather, or to even be a passenger. The RV had one bed in the back, one that came out of the wall and one above the driver. I set Rachel up on the wall one so she couldn’t roll off and get hurt. I set my alarm for 7 am to get back on the road, weather permitting. </p><p>It felt like I had only been sleeping for twenty minutes before I heard a loud burst of thunder and watched as the sky lit up. No more than thirty seconds later I heard whimpers coming from the other side of the camper and immediately knew who it was. I sprang out of bed and ran over to my little sister who was hugging Ruby while she was backed as far into the corner as she could be. <br/>“Come here baby,” I cooed while holding my arms open for the little one. She shook her head no as she continued to whimper. “Come on Rachie, Tana won’t let anything hurt you, come on” I encouraged while she buried her head behind the stuffy and continued to shake her head. Just then thunder cracked so loud I could have sworn the RV shook. Rachel sprang forward into my arms and buried her face in my  neck. I carried my little one to my bed, and yes I considered her mine now, my parents left her to me for a reason. Rachel laid on my chest, Ruby being strangled in her right hand, her left hand gripping my shirt. I rubbed her back to try and coax her back to sleep. We were both exhausted and I truly hoped the storm would pass soon. </p><p>“Tana, Tana, ‘ake up Tana” I felt little hands pushing on my shoulder to grab my attention but I had no desire to open my eyes, maybe it’s just a dream. “Tana” was whispered out and this time I felt tears sliding down my neck, “What is it baby? Tana is right here.” I stroked her hair softly trying to get her to speak again. Instead she pointed to her monkey pajama and I saw the wet spot. Rachel continued to cry. I guess she thought I was going to be upset with her, but honestly this happens to little kids, she’s scared I get it. I just wish she hadn’t gone on me. </p><p>“It’s okay sweetheart, Tana is going to get you all cleaned up, please don’t cry baby, I’m not upset with you” she shook her head again but wouldn’t look at me. “Look at me Rachel” I said sternly to try and grab her attention. I felt a chill run through her body as she stared at the bed but eventually looked up. “Tana is not mad, I just want to clean you up and make you comfy again, okay?” she nodded her head and handed me Ruby so she could be cleaned too. </p><p>I stripped Rachel of her footie pajamas and threw it in the tiny bathroom so I could wash and dry the wet clothing. I sat her on the floor on a towel while I filled the sink with some warm water and her Johnson’s bubble bath. I grabbed one of her small towels and squirted some baby wash on it while I gently cleaned her little body. The little brunette didn’t utter a word the entire time but those big doe eyes watched every move I made and her body shook if I moved too quickly. So weird. I sang the itsy bitsy spider until we were done and then let Rachel pick out her favorite purple pajamas with the stars on them. </p><p>I removed the soiled sheets from the bed, laid Rachel down and hopped in the smallest shower on the planet right now. </p><p>I walked back into the small bedroom and gave my little girl a kiss on the forehead “Good night baby, Tana loves you so much” I whispered. Woah, my little girl? Well I guess that’s what she is now that I am solely responsible for her. I just hope I’m good enough.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 3 </p><p>Rachel watched Winnie the Pooh the entire drive back to New York, I’m pretty sure the theme song will be in my head the rest of the week. I heard little giggles every once in a while but I hadn’t heard her sing as she normally would. Rachel normally loved to sing, as did I. I mean I was in the glee club in high school. My mother could also carry a tune, she always sang to me in the bath or at bedtime I assume she did the same with Rachie. I have some videos of Rachel singing on my phone so this behavior is very unusual. </p><p>Finally I pulled up to our new apartment. The building was twelve floors but I lucked out getting the last two bedroom available on the second floor. </p><p>There’s one spot open out front where we’ll be able to unpack what little we have. Once I pull up I see Mercedes and Mike’s smiling faces waiting for us. The two best friends were at my old place last week and moved all my old stuff into this current apartment. </p><p> </p><p>“Rachel, wake up baby, we’re here. Let’s go see how well Mercedes and Mike did setting up the place” I rub her leg gently to rouse her from her slumber. </p><p>I help my little sister out of the big van but she would not let go of my hand. I could tell she was nervous but I promised myself that I was going to do my best to help her adjust. I lifted her onto my hip so we could greet my friends. </p><p>Mercedes, Weezy, has been my best friend since we were seven years old. We are both going to Columbia, Cedes for Business and Music and myself for Education. Mike is a couple years older than we are and a recent graduate from Julliard. He is currently teaching dance at a community center for underprivileged kids and troubled youth while also working on opening his own studio. </p><p>Rachel had very much liked Mercedes the few times they had encountered each other. Right now though her little arms are wrapped as tight as possible around my neck. </p><p>“Hi Weezy” I say as I hug her the best I can with a little spider monkey attached to me.</p><p>“Hey Satan” she whispers while placing a sweet kiss on my cheek, a silent way of offering her condolences while still trying to see Rachel’s little face. My toddler sister refuses to make eye contact with anyone and only buries her face further into the crook of my neck. Cedes raises an eyebrow in question but we silently agree to talk later. </p><p>“Hi San, little Lopez. Nice to see both of you. How was the ride?” Mike, my ever polite friend just waves noticing the awkward tension coming off of Rachel. </p><p>I smile gratefully at the cute nickname. “Hey Mike, the ride was good but very long, thank you so much for all your help.” </p><p>He smiles and nods “my pleasure, anything for my favorite Lopez ladies.” </p><p>“Let’s get moving kids” Mercedes shouts, always the leader. </p><p>We walk the two flights of stairs to our new place because the elevator is broken, shocking. I guess that’s what we’re going to get for very little rent. </p><p>I lay Rachel down in her new room to finish her nap while we move boxes from the RV.</p><p>I open the door to the little one’s bedroom and tears immediately spring to my eyes. “You guys her room is absolutely perfect! You see Rachie? Pink walls and all the stars on the ceiling for you?” Her little eyes looked all around the room and a very small smile graced her lips. This is the perfect match for this little cutie. </p><p>My two friends both blush at the compliment and the little smile on tiny lips. “It was nothing San” Mike says with a big smile. </p><p>It took us about two hours to unpack everything.We were exhausted from going up and down the stairs so I decided to order us some pizza and sodas to thank them. We plopped down on the couch and waited patiently for the apartment buzzer to go off. </p><p>Once I got comfortable I heard Rachel let out a yelp through the baby monitor we had set up. Mercedes and Mike looked at each other with puzzled expressions as I dashed into the room. </p><p>I softly coo to Rachel as I extract her from the bed. Her pajamas are soaked with sweat but at least she didn’t wet the bed this time. I quickly changed this munchkin and brought her out to rest on my chest, immediately she stuck her thumb in her mouth. </p><p>“Santana, what’s going on with Rachel? She’s usually such a spitfire but right now she seems very withdrawn” my best friend questions. </p><p>“I’m not sure yet Cedes. She’s been like this for two weeks. I thought it had something to do with the loss of our parents but it feels like much more. She’s had nightmares, wetting the bed, thumb sucking and she’s almost non-verbal” I rush out while slowly rocking my little sister. </p><p>Mercedes has tears in her eyes as she watches our interaction. “You have to get her some help Santana.”</p><p>“I’m going to, I just need to get my finances in order” I spit out defensively. </p><p>“I understand San, you don’t need to get all Snix on me, we’re here to help in any way you may need.” </p><p>I smile tightly at that. “I’m enrolling Rachel in a daycare that’s close to school and also covered by tuition and my student loans” The lie easily rolls off my tongue. I don’t tell them that I am basically broke right now and any inheritance is in arrears at the moment. I don’t want the pity. </p><p>“Where San?” Mike questions.</p><p>“It’s called Happy Days, it’s located in Pierce Towers, only three blocks from campus. This way I can check on Rachel throughout the day or get there quickly in case of an emergency.” It’s super expensive but I’m going on a job hunt tomorrow afternoon. </p><p>“Oh amazing! I know of a woman that works there. She used to teach a few of the dance classes to the older kids at the community center. I only saw her once or twice. I heard she was great but found another job in the towers.” </p><p>Hmm, I think. Well if she worked at the community center and Mike knows of her she must be pretty great. Mike gets along with people very well. </p><p>Everyone was shot after we inhaled all the pizza. Mercedes and Mike help me clean up and head home. We exchanged hugs and good nights as they headed out. </p><p>Rachel is laying on the couch with Ruby after I say goodbye to my friends. She looks so sweet and innocent but there’s something in her eyes. I’m not quite sure what it is but I do plan on getting to the bottom of it. </p><p>“Come on, pequena” I scoop her lithe body into my arms “let’s get you to bed, Tana has a big day tomorrow, this girl needs to find a job.”</p><p>I kiss my little girl goodnight as she cuddles up under the blankets, thumb in her mouth and Ruby clutched tightly. I sigh softly as I finally undress and get comfortable in my own bed, I set an alarm for 8:30am, switch off the lights and make sure the baby monitor is on. Tomorrow is another day, let's hope it’s a good one.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took Rachel and I about a week to really settle in. </p><p>I was able to find a job that would allow me to go to school, to be with Rachel at night, and make some quick cash. Although I was not thrilled about working at Sapphire, I would do what I have to do for my sister. I never thought I would be taking my clothes off for money, or sliding around a pole, but it is what it is right now. </p><p>Today is my first day of classes and Rachel’s first day of daycare. I was so nervous and definitely not ready to leave my little one. I just wanted to cuddle with my baby girl and watch movies all day, it always made me feel better. </p><p>My alarm blared through my bedroom at 6:30am so I decided to jump in the shower while Rachel was surprisingly still asleep. After my shower I walked into her room and gently rubbed her back to coax her from her slumber.</p><p>“No Tana” she whispered out but didn’t wake up so I rubbed her back again a little firmer this time. </p><p>“Nooo Tana!” she screamed and it made me jump. It was then I realized she was definitely having a nightmare. I picked the little one up and rocked her slowly. “Wake up baby, it’s okay Rach, Tana’s got you. It’s our first day of daycare, come on sweetheart.” I whisper to her as her little eyelids flutter open. </p><p>“It’s okay Rachel, you’re safe, Tana is here.” She reached up and grabbed my cheeks as I leaned down to kiss the tip of her little nose. </p><p>Once Rachel had calmed down it was time to get ourselves dressed and ready. I opted for leggings and a light short sleeve shirt. Rachel too had on leggings, a red t-shirt, matching converse and headband. </p><p>“Are you ready to go baby” I asked but of course she shook her head no. I frowned, I thought she was excited for her first day. “Why not Rachie?” I prodded hoping I would get an actual response, to my surprise I did. “No want Tana leave too” she said barely above a whisper. My heart constricted, she thought I was going to leave her like our parents did.</p><p>“Rachie come sit with Tana, I want to talk to you about something” for a split second I saw a flash of fear in her eyes but it quickly dissipated. She toddled over and climbed into my lap immediately curling in on my chest. I pressed two fingers under her chin, so we could connect or chocolate eyes. “Tana is not going anywhere but to school today and I will be picking you up at exactly 3 o’clock.” <br/>“Tana is never going to leave you baby I promise, but in order for us to stay together I have to keep you in daycare, I have to show the social worker and lawyer I can do this, that we can do this, okay?” I know she doesn’t really understand but I couldn’t bear the thought of her being taken away. </p><p>I spoke to the social worker when I got the job at Sapphire. On paper I’m a bartender, she doesn’t need to know I’ll be doing private dances. </p><p>I’m broken from my thoughts when I hear Rachel’s soft little voice again “Tana never leave?” </p><p>“Tana will never willingly leave you, I love you too much munchkin” I said happily, just hearing her voice made me my heart swell “ ‘ove you much Tana.” How adorable is she?</p><p>We hopped on the train and made our way to our first stop; daycare. </p><p>I carried Rachel into Pierce Towers while she tightly clung to my neck. This was going to be hard on both of us, but we could do this. The Lopez women are very strong. </p><p>Rachel and I walked through the sliding doors and I was met with the most intensely beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen. </p><p>“Hi!” I heard the beauty say “I’m Brittany” she extended her hand for a shake. </p><p>Holy shit she is gorgeous! Speak Santana, stop gawking!</p><p>It is safe to say that this woman was the most gorgeous blonde I’d ever encountered. Before I got completely inappropriate I felt Rachel squeeze her little arms tighter around my neck and bury her face in my chest. “Relax baby, I won’t leave until you’re ready, I promise” I whispered into her ear praying my promise would calm her down. My class doesn’t start for at least forty minutes, which I planned for, I knew this wouldn’t be easy for either of us. </p><p>Suddenly I’m pulled from my thoughts when I hear the angelic voice again. “Uhm, I’m sorry but I couldn’t help overhearing , I’m sure this little one is very nervous, maybe we could take a tour together?” She asked, blue meeting brown seeking my approval. I nodded once before she spoke again “why don’t we go over to the letter rug and see all the blocks we have. How does that sound cutie?” The blonde asked but Rachel refused to look at the blonde. </p><p>“Come on Rach, Tana will be with you, why don’t we go check out all the cool things this place has to offer?” I felt a tiny nod against my collar bone which made me smile a little. Maybe she would open up a little bit. </p><p>“Tina, I’m going to show these two around a little bit, can you get those little ones setup in the sandbox please?” Brittany asked who I assumed to be her assistant. </p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t get your name when you came in…” Brittany trailed off waiting for my response. </p><p>“Oh I’m sorry for being so rude, I’m Santana and this little clinger monkey is Rachel” I said as I heard the little one let out a giggle against my chest. Brittany heard the laugh and smiled widely. </p><p>“That’s a very beautiful name and your daughter is absolutely adorable.” I blushed at her compliment but quickly regained my composure, “oh no she’s not my daughter, she’s my little sister, but I’m her legal guardian now, although I do consider her my own.” Brittany grimaced as I spoke but being polite she didn’t ask me any further questions. </p><p>“Okay Rach why don’t we play with some of these wooden blocks Mrs. Brittany setup for us” I said as I tried to pry Rachel from her deadlocked grip. </p><p>“It’s just Miss, I’m not married or anything. I’m actually single. Very much single and I’m going to stop talking now before I embarrass myself more.” Brittany rushed out while turning a deep shade of red. I smiled at her quirkiness. “Well I am very much single myself” I smirked when she looked down and fumbled with her hands, I obviously made her nervous. Realizing I had to get it together though when Rachel tightened her arms again, I could flirt later.</p><p>“What age group is Rachel going to be in?” Brittany asked while I was struggling to get the little brunette to sit on my lap. </p><p>“She just turned four. She’s normally only shy when she first meets someone, and usually opens up quickly. But we’ve been struggling with speech and we haven’t been apart for more than an hour in a month, so this is going to be really difficult for her.” I filled Brittany in thinking maybe she’ll look after Rachel with special care if she knows a bit of her struggles lately. </p><p>“Maybe I should just take her home and try this again another day, she’s not ready” I said as I started to get up to make a dash to the front doors when I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. </p><p>“Santana you have to separate yourselves sometime, and this is not going to be easy for either of you, but I know from your application that you have classes to attend to and the semester just started. The blonde explained gently as if I didn’t already know these things. I rolled my eyes before answering, “Thanks, but I think I know Rachel better than you and I should take her home.” I snapped at Brittany. I instantly felt bad when I saw her drop her head in embarrassment for the second time in just a short while. </p><p>“I-I’m sorry Santana, I didn’t mean to overstep your parenting, you have to do what you think is best for you both, I’m going to help Tina with the other children that are still arriving, see you next time” The blonde stuttered as she turned to walk towards the other toddlers. </p><p>I sighed as I realized Brittany was right this had to be done and I needed to get to class, I wanted Rachel to branch out and hopefully make some friends, maybe come out of the shell she’s been hiding in. “Rach look at Tana baby, it’s just me and you, Ms. Brittany is gone for now” I whispered into her dark hair. She stirred and leaned back a little to meet my eyes. “Baby you have to stay here today, Ms. Brittany is very nice and I think you can have a lot of fun here. If you’re scared, you just go to her and she will call me right away, okay?” I spoke as gently as I could while trying to get her to believe my words. I would drop everything to come back for her. </p><p>“Cross heart Tana?” she asked as she played with the necklace I was wearing. “Cross my heart cutie” I kissed the top of her head conveying as much love as I could. I picked her up and carried her over to where all the kids were standing around the sandbox. It was one of the ones that kids put their hands in, way less of a mess. </p><p>I spotted the tall blonde and asked if we could speak for a moment. She eyed me but reluctantly agreed and told Tina she would be back in just a minute. </p><p>“I’m really sorry for snapping at you Brittany. I’m just so used to dealing with things on my own lately, especially when it comes to Rachel. She’s really fragile right now and this is terrifying for both of us.” I told her while trying to keep our eyes connected so she could see the truth behind my words. She thought for a moment before speaking “it’s okay Santana I’m sorry for trying to tell you what to do. Can we start over?” She rocked back and forth on her heels like a little kid waiting for a response. I pretended to think before nodding and smiling up at her. </p><p>I placed Rachel on my hip so that she would actually look at Brittany and maybe start to warm up to her. </p><p>“Hi Rachel, it’s very nice to meet you” Brittany spoke quietly while giving the small brunette a wave. Finally Rachel lifted her head from my shoulder and gave the smallest smile she could “hi” she whispered out. </p><p>“I promised Rachel that if she needed me, you would call, no matter how busy I may seem.” I said while giving Brittany a playful glare, hoping she would play along. </p><p>“Oh but of course! Rachel is going to be my little helper today and I will absolutely call whenever you need her, okay Rachel?” The little one looked at me and I nodded my head with a smile confirming Brittany’s words. </p><p>I felt my phone vibrate and I knew it was a reminder that I had to get moving to my first class. “Okay Rach, Tana needs to go now, I need a big hug and kiss before I leave, please.” I choked out as the tears started to well up. She threw her little arms around my neck and squeezed me tight, she finally leaned back and placed a sloppy and loving kiss on my lips. “I love you so much baby girl” and got the sweetest response “love you much Tana” she said with tears also in her eyes. </p><p>I handed Rachel to Brittany’s open arms praying that this woman could handle my little girl without any issues. “Thank you Brittany, please call me if ANYTHING goes wrong.” I said anxiously while making my way out and keeping my tears at bay. </p><p>“I promise Santana everything is going to be fine, we will see you in just a few hours” the blonde said while lifting Rache’s little hand to wave to me. I kissed her forehead once last time and I was out the door to start my crazy life at Columbia. </p><p>I cried the entire four block walk to school but I continued to tell myself this is what needed to be done. I took the elevator to the third floor and walked into my first class. Business Economics. Here goes nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brittany’s POV </p><p>Holy crap, Santana is one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on. Although we are strangers I already feel a connection to these two, I know I can help them in some way. It’s obvious that Rachel is going to need some type of professional help.</p><p>Once Santana had left Rachel cried for a solid twenty minutes before I was even able to put her down. Currently the little brunette was sitting on the letter rug while I explained to Tina that this child is going to need extra attention today. </p><p>“I’ve got it covered Britt, and Kitty will be here in ten minutes to start her shift” I smile at the thought of seeing my sister today. She only comes to the daycare once in a while, normally she’s on the fifth floor doing her internship. </p><p>“Thanks Tina, I appreciate your understanding” she smiles and walks away to wrangle up the rest of the kids. </p><p>I turned to see Rachel now sitting on the letter “S” while clutching her bunny tightly. I smiled fondly at the obvious smart girl, clearly the letter was making her better and connected to her sister. </p><p>“Alright boys and girls it’s time for our snack and then it’s nap time, let’s clean up our toys and find a place at the table” Tina says as Kitty leads the kids in their “cleanup” song. </p><p>All the children except for Rachel sing their song and head over to the containers to pick out their snacks and drinks. </p><p>I noticed the little brunette now shifting on her feet so I went over to help her pick her snack and hopefully a spot at the table. </p><p>“Rachel, do you need help finding a place to sit?” She just shook her head no as her little eyes filled with more tears, I think she thought because we had cleaned up it was time to go home. I immediately noticed her distress and reached out with my hand to help calm her. There was a flash of fear in her eyes. I didn’t mean to scare her but she took off to the letter rug again, where she made herself as small as she could, and began to sob. </p><p>I felt absolutely terrible, I only wanted to help this little girl but it definitely wasn’t going to be an easy task.</p><p>I walked slowly over to the rug not wanting to startle her again. “Rachel, Ms. Brittany is so sorry she scared you, can I sit with you for a little bit, please?” I asked in my softest whisper and waited patiently for little doe eyes to meet mine. After her cries had finally turned to little whimpers and sniffles she gave a little nod that I could get closer. </p><p>I just sat next to her for a little bit before she shocked me by crawling into my lap and snuggling into my chest. I let out a tiny gasp, definitely not expecting her to be so affectionate especially after I frightened her. The little brunette had her walls up but I believe I can make them down and maybe Santana’s too. </p><p>I picked Rachel up and walked over to where the other kids were but she had her face buried into my neck and her arms wrapped tightly around me. “It’s okay Rach, Ms. Brittany just wants you to have a snack and something to drink, I won’t put you down, I promise” I whispered while rubbing her back. </p><p>“Would you like carrots and celery or apples and oranges” there were no words she just pointed to the vegetable container. </p><p>“Okay how about apple juice, cranberry or milk?” Again there were no words from Rachel, just a tiny finger pointing to the apple juice container. </p><p>I grabbed exactly what she wanted and sat her in my lap so she could eat quietly but comfortably. All the other children had found a spot to lay on the letter rug for their naps after snack time was over. Tina took her break while Kitty was on the computer making the schedule for the upcoming week. I carried Rachel over to the yellow bean bag chair hoping she would fall asleep for a little while. I sighed while looking at this precious girl in my arms, feeling warm puffs of air on my chest, wondering what was going on in her little mind. There was something about these two brunettes, I knew they needed help and I am definitely willing to give it. </p><p>Santana POV </p><p>I sat in my Business Ec class bouncing my leg up and down while clicking my pen. Anxiety was radiating through me as I worried that Rachel was okay. I hadn’t heard anything from Brittany so I can only assume my little one is hanging in there. I stopped bouncing my leg and clicking my pen when I received a glare from an overgrown toddler in my class. If I wasn’t so anxious I would have gone all Lima Heights. </p><p>I can’t help but think more about Brittany, she’s so sweet and stunning. She seems to carry herself well, like a beautiful unicorn. It would be so easy to fall for her. Although I haven’t dated in a very long time, my parents weren’t thrilled when I came out so it was very hard to bring a woman home to meet them and I can understand how that can strain a relationship. I couldn’t fall in love and have someone else leave me like they did. Also, who actually knows if Brittany is into women let alone me. I have nothing to offer this girl with my shit job, my hurting four year old and all around anxiety. Santana Lopez does not do rejection very well. </p><p>“Ms. Lopez are you with me?” I’m ripped from my thoughts when my professor addresses me. Get your mind out of the gutter Lopez. I just nod at the professor as the class drags on. Only two left until I get to see my baby. </p><p>Brittany Pov</p><p>I check the clock as Rachel continues to whimper in her sleep. She woke with a startle only once seemingly from a nightmare but I was able to lull her back to sleep. I tried to get her up to maybe color with the rest of the kids but she was not having it therefore my day was spent cuddling the cutest four year old. </p><p>I look up when I hear someone taping on the window. I smile when I see Santana waving at us. </p><p>“Rachel, wake up sweetie, look who’s here” I whisper while pushing her hair back a little to coax her out of her sleep. </p><p>“Tana” she gasps out and jumps off my now numb legs. Crap. </p><p>“Hi baby, I missed you so much today” Santana says while scooping her little girl into her arms. </p><p>“How was she?” The older brunette asks while I am slowly getting my legs to wake up. </p><p>I easily explained to Santana the transgression of the day. I had to tell her about the nightmare which just upset her. I explained that it was very quick and the little fell back into an easy sleep which seemed to make her feel a bit better. </p><p>“My aunt works with kids who have been through traumas or loss. I really think she would be able to help the both of you, I can give you her card…” I trailed off when I saw the look on the brunette’s face.</p><p>“You mean like a shrink?” she snaps but immediately apologizes when my face falls at her coldness. </p><p>“I’m sorry Brittany, I know I need to get Rachel help, it’s just so hard being on my own right now. Our family never believed in therapy or anything like that. They only saw it as a burden or a way that other families could judge us if they had found out” she rushes out. </p><p>I quickly grab my wallet before she can change her mind and blush when our fingers brush against one another.</p><p>“Thank you for taking such good care of Rachel today. I really appreciate it. We do have to get going though. I have to buy books, make dinner, get this little one bathed and ready for bed. Sorry I don’t know why I’m telling you all this” I just smile at her little ramble. I could listen to her talk for hours. </p><p>“Santana” I yell before she can leave “here’s my number in case you ever want to talk” I say quickly, nervous that she’ll reject me. </p><p>“Thanks Brittany” she says with a small smile as they exit for the day. </p><p>Santana POV </p><p>“Good job today baby girl. We did a lot better than I thought we would” I whisper against her forehead as she snuggles more into my chest. Thank God she’s small for her age. </p><p>We stopped at the grocery store so that I could pick up some items for Rachel’s favorite dinner, spaghetti. </p><p>Once we get home and finally have dinner my eyes are starting to close. I know I have to give Rachel a bath and there’s only a few days left that I will be able to do this before my job starts. </p><p>“Why don’t we put Ruby to sleep baby, it’s time for your bath” Rachel just looks up at me and nods, I really miss her voice, her whispering is just not enough. </p><p>I take out Rachel’s bunny robe and walk in her room just in time to see her kissing Ruby goodnight and tucking her under the covers, the sight alone is enough to make me melt. </p><p>“Come on baby, let's get you in the tub” I say as I hold out my hand for her small one. </p><p>Rachel points at the tub and I nod “yes it’s bath time.” She points again with a bit more emphasis and I’m not understanding what she wants. Tears start to well up in her little eyes “no no Rach, tell Tana what you want” she points at me and then at the bath “do you want Tana to take a bath with you” I ask and again she nods sniffling lightly. “Of course I’ll take a bath with you!” I kiss her little cheek as I help her get undressed. </p><p>Rachel is leaning back against me while playing with her pink ducky, bouncing on my arm. She squeals when I take the ducky from her and attack her little face with kisses. She splashes around while managing to get me right in the face with a ton of water. “Oh you little stinker you’re gonna get it now!” </p><p>As the words flew out of my mouth Rachel immediately freezes while throwing her hands over her head. She moves so quickly off my lap I almost don’t have time to catch her before she cracks her head on the side of the tub. Little legs are drawn to her chest and she stutters out “I’m s-s-sorry M-Mama, p-p-please don’t h-h-hurt me” she sobs. </p><p>Now it’s my turn to be completely frozen… </p><p>TBC...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for the kudos! Please let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>AN: Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and follows! We will be getting a mini Quinn very soon! Trigger warning - discussion of panic attacks</p><p>I’m finally ripped from my frozen state when all I can hear are Rachel’s heartbreaking sobs, her little arms still covering her head as she repeats “-p-p-please” over and over again. Soon the little one is hyperventilating and I’m afraid she’s going to make herself sick. I know I shouldn’t move so fast as to not scare her but I need to get her out of this cold water and figure out how the fuck I am going to help my little girl. </p><p>I quickly grab Rachel and she lets out an incredibly high pitched yelp. “I’m so sorry baby, I’m not going to hurt you, but Tana has got to get you out of this cold water” I say as I lift her from the tub and put on her robe. Once she’s down on the floor she quickly dashes out of the bathroom. I grab my phone as I head to find the distressed little girl. I call out for Rachel but all I can hear is hiccuped sobs, the apartment isn’t very big, but she’s very small she could be anywhere. I have no idea what the fuck to do to help her right now. I slide open my phone in hopes of calling Mercedes for some help but quickly realize she told me she had a date tonight. Suddenly I realized that Brittany gave me her number and quickly dialled out. </p><p>“H-hello” a voice thick with sleep comes through the phone and I stay silent, afraid the sleeping beauty will be angry with me for calling. Somehow she knows it’s me on the other end “Santana are you there? Is everything okay?” I continue to stay silent as I have finally found Rachel cowering in her ever so tiny closet hyperventilating. “SANTANA!” she yells and I jump. </p><p>“B-B-Britt” I try to gain some composure but my heart is racing so fast and I feel like I’m failing my distraught child.</p><p>“Yes Santana, I’m here, tell me what’s going on. I can hear crying in the background. Is it Rachel? Are you hurt or is she hurt? Please start speaking honey!” Her questions are coming at rapidly but the “honey” is what pulls me from my own anxiety. </p><p>I take a deep breath “Rachel is having a panic attack, something happened while we were in the tub and she’s hiding in the cloest freaking the fuck out. I-I-I can’t get her to calm down! She is repeating please and no hurt. I-I-I d-d-don’t know how to help.” I sob out to the blonde.</p><p>“Shh, Santana, it’s okay you need to try and keep calm in order to help her get calm, okay? I need you to listen to me. I’m going to put the phone on speaker while I get dressed, okay?” </p><p>“Yes.” I choke out. </p><p>“First, take a moment and send me your location so I can get to your place.” I do exactly as she says, as I watch Rachel battling her internal demons. <br/>“Before I get there I need you to get Rachel to calm down and get her breathing under control. Ease her out of the closet and place her hand over your heart. This will only work if you get your own heartbeat under control. She trusts you San, you need to trust yourself. Hug her tightly to your chest, and channel all that love you have for her. By the time you get her to calm down I will already be there. I’m getting in my car right now.” I hear the engine start. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?” She asks kindly, but I don’t know how she’s so calm. </p><p>“N-no, please drive carefully. Thank you Brittany.” I say just above a whisper.</p><p>“Don’t worry Santana, I will be there soon.” she says as she hangs up. I look over at Rachel in the corner as she is gasping for air. </p><p>I gently crawl over to the little brunette and do exactly what Brittany told me. Rachel struggles a bit, but I continue to hold her and speak quietly against her forehead. </p><p>“Rachel, it’s okay sweet girl, Tana is here.” She flinched again, still stuck in her head. </p><p>“Shhh, calmarse mija, mamà está aquí”.” Hopefully using the new term would help. Rachel’s petite body rested limply against my chest as she leaned her head on my shoulder. I rubbed my hand up and down her back whispering softly to her. </p><p>I gently took her miniature hand and placed it right over my heartbeat. “Feel my heartbeat baby, breathe in and out with Mama.” Tears welled up in my eyes as her body shook, but her sobs were slowly turning into hiccups. </p><p>“That’s it bebè, Mama has you. I’m always going to protect you. I promise.” I continued to rock her back and forth as we calmed down together. Rachel stuck her thumb in her mouth for obvious comfort but her other hand never left my chest. </p><p>“Come on Rachie, let’s get you comfortable on the bed.” I walked us both to my bedroom where I combed Rachel’s hair and got us both into fresh pajamas, just as someone knocked on the door. Not sure how Brittany got in without being buzzed up, but that’s a question for later. </p><p>“Okay Rach we just need to open the door for Ms. Brittany.” She doesn’t even acknowledge me. The blonde rushes through the threshold wearing light pink jeans, a Columbia light blue sweatshirt, and yellow flip-flops. Clearly she got dressed in the dark and in a hurry, not that I blame her. </p><p>The blonde looks at me with a sad expression. She moves quickly to check on Rachel “I just want to make sure that she doesn’t run a fever or anything, kids sometimes make themselves sick when they have panic attacks, they’re so young and they don’t know how to control the emotions running through them.” Her blue eyes are searching mine to make sure I’m okay with her checking out Rachel. “Has she had them before?” she asks. <br/>“I-I-I don’t know, s-she, I-I...” All of my emotions are coming to the front. I have no idea how to speak to this woman right now. I can’t believe she even came to help us. </p><p>“Okay, okay honey, it’s alright. I’m going to help you both. Why don’t we go sit on the couch and we can talk about what happened tonight?” she suggests. </p><p>The tiny brunette hasn’t whispered a word, let alone looked up since this all began. I sat her on my lap while Brittany sat next to me preparing to have a very difficult conversation with a very young child. </p><p>“W-what did you call me Rachie?” I start with something that will make my heart swell knowing exactly what she said but it may be easier to talk about. I knew I needed to hear it again, it could easily have been a mistake or just Rachel being triggered in the tub. Our parents were not the greatest, and that was painstakingly clear. They didn’t spend much time with me as a child but I know my mom used to take baths with Rachel when she actually made time for her. </p><p>Our parents were both in the medical field, Papa ran his own practice and Mom was a nurse at Lima General in the ER. Papa used to take Rachel with him to his practice but my relationship was very strained with my parents after coming out, they pretended as if I never told them. They believed it to be some sort of phase and I rarely ever brought it up thinking they would keep Rachel from me. I was actually quite surprised that they left Rachel to me, and I’m starting to think it was the best thing to ever happen to the four year old. Truth is, I was a bit jealous of the little girl. I never got that kind of attention. </p><p>“Rachel, bebè, tell me what you said, please.” I waited, somewhat patiently, for her to look at me. When she finally did all I could see was terror in her eyes as her bottom lip began to quiver. The tall blonde looked at Rachel with a sad smile but grasped my unoccupied right hand. “It’s okay baby, say it again, I need to hear it.” I gently coax.</p><p>“I-I s-sorry T-Tana, I n-no c-call y-you that n-no m-more.” she stutters out again, a clear sign of uneasiness as tears roll down her face. “I-I no m-mean to m-m-make y-you -m-mad.” she continues. This is the most she has spoken in a month and it breaks my heart that it’s an apology for something she has no control over. </p><p>The wheels are spinning in my head and I can see the despair on Brittany’s face. I move Rachel back a bit so that I can look into her eyes. “Rachel, Tana is not mad at all about what you said. Why do you think I’m mad sweetheart?” Instead of a verbal response she just shakes her head no and reaches for Ruby. Somehow Brittany managed to get the stuffed bunny at some point. This girl continues to amaze me.  </p><p>“Rach. I need you to keep looking at me. If you want to call me Mama or Mommy, I am more than okay with that. You are so important to me and I would be honored if you wanted me to be your Mama.” She looks at me skeptical at first, but eventually I get another nod as she drops her head back to my chest, holding my shirt tightly. </p><p>“Mija, Mama wants you to know she will never ever hurt you. No matter what you do I will never raise a hand to you.” Again I get a shaky nod. </p><p>“I need to know who hurt you baby.” Immediately I know I have stepped too far out of our bubble, and the little one clams up. </p><p>“N-no M-mama.” Only a slight stutter this time, but at least we got some words! I play with her curls as she puts her thumb back in her mouth. I know that I won’t be getting anything else out of her tonight. </p><p>We sit in silence for what feels like forever, when Brittany finally speaks up. “Why don’t we lay Rachel down in your bed now that she’s calm, and the two of us can relax?”</p><p>Rachel’s eyes are fluttering closed from the emotional night. so I carefully carry her to my bed and place her under the covers with Ruby tucked tightly in her arms. I lean now to kiss her forehead and carefully remove leftover tears on her cheeks, “goodnight bebè mamà te ama tanto” I turn on the baby monitor and motion for Brittany and I to exit the room. </p><p>Brittany leads me over to the couch to relax. We don’t say anything, it's just silence. The blonde lets me put my head in her lap as she begins to play with my hair, I think she knows I’m just not ready to talk yet. </p><p>After about an hour of silence the blonde moves to gather her keys “alright well I think I’m going to head out for tonight, I’m so happy you called me Santana” she says. </p><p>I quickly grab her wrist to stop her from moving anywhere. “Stay please” I say as my eyes well up again with tears.</p><p>“Okay” she whispers out.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>